Are your friends bad for our wallet?
We all know them: the bridezilla who forces her bridesmaids to pay $500 for their gowns, the hapless friend who "loses" his wallet whenever the dinner check comes around and the spouse whose shopping addiction is threatening your mortgage, not to mention your marriage. In the world of money, these well-meaning friends do more harm to your wallet than good, and it goes without saying they can damage your self-respect, too.
We decided to round up these common culprits by asking a few readers to share their tales of wallet woe. The stories weren't pretty, but thanks to our arsenal of personal finance experts who lent a sympathetic ear and their sage advice, these readers should never feel peer-pressured to overspend again and, more importantly, neither will you.
The Charlie Brown
Better known as the guilt tripper, Charlie Brown is the money-toxic friend who's perpetually plagued by finance issues and makes you feel crummy for spending on things you enjoy. Here, we present Exhibit A:
Linus: "Hey, Charlie! Want to try Burger King's new stuffed steakhouse burger? I heard it's great!"
Charlie: "Aw shucks, Linus, I can't afford it. I only have 35 cents to my name and that burger costs at least $4."
"Whether you're splurging or saved up, if somebody is expressing a sort of pressure to you for you to either say, 'Oh my treat,' just say, 'What do you want to do?'" suggests Julia Scott, a journalist and founder of BargainBabe.com. "Say hey, 'I'd love to see you, let's get together,'" she says. But "if somebody is the worrywart about money, put the ball in their court so they can choose a low cost activity that takes the pressure off." Or suggest something free to do instead.
The Bridezilla
Who doesn't love poking fun at bridezillas? They're catty, self-absorbed and love to splurge on their big day—that is, until you feel pressured to spend along with them. Before you know it, you're shelling out $400 for a gown you'll only wear once, a four-night booze fest in Vegas and not one, but two, bridal showers. Toxic!
Carl Richards, the brains behind those clever New York Times napkin sketches that explore consumers' relationship with money, says the key to handling these brazen brides-to-be is to discuss these costs upfront. "It's just really important to have boundaries," Richards says. "Talking about it early and often can help. The last place you want to be having any discussion is at the cash register when all the preparations have been made and there's no time to think about or explain the consequences."
Scott agrees: "Declining to participate [in the wedding] is a great way to get out of money constraints," she says, "especially if it's someone who isn't close with you." But if the relationship means more and skipping the nuptials will put it on ice, Scott says not to do it. "Think of spending the money as an investment in the relationship instead."
'The Secret' Spendthrift
The law of attraction might bring great abundance and joy into your life, but it certainly won't pad your wallet—just ask the real estate agent Richards knew who once leased a Bentley to upgrade his image. "He wrote affirmations that he was going to make a million dollars next year selling real estate," Richards recalls, "but pretty soon he realized that the universe doesn't write a check and he got into major debt."
"Secret" Spendthrifts are especially tricky to deal with because they "care more about image more than reality," Richard says, and the "danger" for anyone associating with them is that it looks fun to have fancy things rather than create realistic financial goals to earn those coveted items. Pretty soon you can be living beyond your means as you try to keep up with your friend, or even worse, buy into his sham of a budget strategy. "Putting too much faith in creating an image of success" can be misleading to everyone involved, warns Richards. "You have to remember that hope is not a budgeting strategy."
The Perpetual Winner
This money-toxic friend never seems to lose, or at least that's what she wants you to think. "My dentist will not stop talking to me—with his hands in my mouth—about all the great investments he's made. He bought Google at this time, sold this stock at the right time, etc., etc., etc." Richards says. "That can be just as toxic because you walk away from those interactions thinking, 'God what a loser I am! How come I'm not leveraging to invest in foreign currencies?'"
Besides inciting serious wallet-envy, these friends mask a real insecurity. "The fact is that the tax returns don't lie," says Richards. "There's usually another side to the story that nobody talks about."
To shirk their bravado and feel like a winner yourself, "imagine these people as a tax return or a balance sheet," says Richards. "When they start bragging, just think, 'That's great, but if I saw their tax return, it might tell a different story.' You just have to remember that chances are that if it sounds too good to be true, chances are that it is."
The Mooch
When she was in her 20s, pharmacist Nath Jones didn't mind buying her friends a drink or two. But once they started charging "$200 bar tabs for two and three $15 martinis" on her credit cards, she tells MainStreet, "I lost about 15 really good friends as I changed my attitude about generosity. My rule went from 'good times and generosity' to 'Would this person spend this much on me?' Usually the answer was no."
The next time the Mooch in your life comes around asking for a handout, just say no. "It's insanity!" Richards exclaims. He suggests telling your friend he made a mistake by enabling the behavior. "If that's bothering you, stop going shopping with the guy."
If you're dealing with the Dinnertime Mooch, a popular variant of the usual Mooch, here are other ways to dodge his behavior:
- Research and plan what you'll eat ahead of time, then only bring enough cash for your order.
- Do not, we repeat, do not flash the plastic.
- If you're reluctant to dine with this friend—or even meet the friend, period—get busy. Schedule an appointment to be somewhere, says Richards. "There's a difference between lying and concealing information. Some things are better off unsaid."
Mr. Big Stuff
An ancestor of the Perpetual Winner, Mr. (or Ms.) Big Stuff puts a price tag on friendship and feels compelled to one-up everyone. In the end, it's all talk, talk, talk, but the negativity clouds your mind—and makes you spend just to keep up with him.
Presentation specialist Constance Dunn has "a close friend who is a classic," she says. "She's a moneyed gal who must quench her every whim, and have the best seats or suits in the house or the night's a bust." Thankfully, Dunn "changed this dynamic via two actions: Giving back by doing no- to low-cost things that she finds invaluable, such as helping her with her pets or mail and having a straight conversation about our budget differences," Dunn says, "and taking her to elegant places that are also affordable for me."
Another way to address the issue, says Scott, is to "talk about things that aren't money." If the conversation still doesn't change and you decide to bring up the issue, do it discreetly. "Never chide a friend in front of others," Scott says. "Do it when it's between the two of you and let them know it makes you uncomfortable." Just don't ask them to change, she warns. "Letting them know it makes you feel uncomfortable is enough. If they know that, they might be more careful about you."
The Shopaholic Spouse
Michael Duncan, managing director of United Capital New York, sees his fair share of shopping addicted spouses, including twice-wedded/Secret Spendthrift wives who "didn't define what their second relationship would mean to them before they got married" and plunged themselves into bankruptcy while hoping their second husband would pay off the debt.
The fact is "money conversations are very difficult for spouses," Duncan says, "and usually the lack of them stems from insecurity of some sort, although sometimes there's no basis for the insecurity at all."
Michael Duncan, managing director of United Capital New York, sees his fair share of shopping addicted spouses, including twice-wedded/Secret Spendthrift wives who "didn't define what their second relationship would mean to them before they got married" and plunged themselves into bankruptcy while hoping their second husband would pay off the debt.
The fact is "money conversations are very difficult for spouses," Duncan says, "and usually the lack of them stems from insecurity of some sort, although sometimes there's no basis for the insecurity at all."
The Macroeconomic Moron
Ramit Sethi, author of I Will Teach You to Be Rich, hates this money-toxic friend the most. "Every day this guy is angry about the government, shaking his fists and saying 'Obama did this, look at Wall Street that,'" he says. "Then you ask them, 'Have you read even one book about personal finance?' No. 'Have you contributed to your 401(K)?' No. It's more fun to complain than automate their finances."
The way to shut these misinformers down—and keep them from making you fear going outside—is to realize that tax policy doesn't affect your wallet at an everyday level and put them in their place. "Tell them, 'That's interesting, What do you think that I should be doing with my money?'" Sethi says. "Try to be more specific. What you will both realize is it's fun and easy to talk about things that are up in the air. People usually have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to day-to-day money management. Ask what they're going to do and watch the abstraction fall apart. They're just ranting about something abstract."
*All credit to "TheStreet" (http://www.thestreet.com/) for a real eye opening article. It's about time people started talking about finances and how friendships are often affected by poor financial decisions. Real talk for Real people.*
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Sunday, January 30, 2011
THE OFFICIAL "INTERNATIONAL DIVA DAY" TEE! Get it today to celebrate!
Ladies, get the official "International Diva Day" tee today! Remember it's our day to celebrate "International Diva Day" Feb 20. Let's all band together and be the fabulous Diva's we were born to be.
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and show your "Diva" status!
Get it today at www.cafepress.com/DivasHouse
and show your "Diva" status!
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THE OFFICIAL DIVA'S NATION TEE! Get Yours Today!
A tee for all Diva's! Get it today and wear with Diva's Pride!
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Saturday, January 29, 2011
Chaos engulfs Cairo as Mubarak points to successor!
CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!
With protests raging, Egypt's president named his intelligence chief as his first-ever vice president on Saturday, setting the stage for a successor as chaos engulfed the capital. Soldiers stood by — a few even joining the demonstrators — and the death toll from five days of anti-government fury rose sharply to 74.
Saturday's fast-moving developments across the north African nation marked a sharp turning point in President Hosni Mubarak's three-decade rule of Egypt.
Residents and shopkeepers in affluent neighborhoods boarded up their houses and stores against looters, who roamed the streets with knives and sticks, stealing what they could and destroying cars, windows and street signs. Gunfire rang out in some neighborhoods.
Tanks and armored personnel carriers fanned out across the city of 18 million, guarding key government buildings, and major tourist and archaeological sites. Among those singled out for special protection was the Egyptian Museum, home to some of the country's most treasured antiquities, and the Cabinet building. The military closed the pyramids on the outskirts of Cairo — Egypt's premier tourist site.
But soldiers made no moves against protesters, even after a curfew came and went and the crowds swelled in the streets, demanding an end to Mubarak's rule and no handoff to the son he had been grooming to succeed him.
"This is the revolution of people of all walks of life," read black graffiti scrolled on one army tank in Tahrir Square. "Mubarak, take your son and leave," it said.
Thousands of protesters defied the curfew for the second night, standing their ground in the main Tahrir Square in a resounding rejection of Mubarak's attempt to hang onto power with promises of reform and a new government.
Police protecting the Interior Ministry near the site opened fire at a funeral procession for a dead protester, possibly because it came too close to the force. Clashes broke out and at least two people were killed.
A 43-year-old teacher, Rafaat Mubarak, said the appointment of the president's intelligence chief and longtime confidant, Omar Suleiman, as vice president did not satisfy the protesters.
"This is all nonsense. They will not fool us anymore. We want the head of the snake," he said in the Mediterranean port city of Alexandria. "If he is appointed by Mubarak, then he is just one more member of the gang. We are not speaking about a branch in a tree, we are talking about the roots."
The crackdown on protesters has drawn harsh criticism from the Obama administration and even a threat Friday to reduce a $1.5 billion foreign aid program if Washington's most important Arab ally escalates the use of force.
Thousands of passengers were stranded at Cairo's airport as flights were canceled or delayed, leaving them unable to leave because of a government-imposed curfew. Several Arab nations, meanwhile, moved to evacuate their citizens.
The cancelations of flights and the arrival of several largely empty aircraft appeared to herald an ominous erosion of key tourism revenue.
The protesters united in one overarching demand — Mubarak and his family must go. The movement is a culmination of years of simmering frustration over a government they see as corrupt, heavy-handed and neglectful of poverty.
Egyptians were emboldened by the uprising in Tunisia — another North African Arab nation, and further buoyed by their success in defying the ban on gatherings.
At the end of a long day of rioting and mass demonstrations Friday, Mubarak fired his Cabinet and promised reforms. But the demonstrators returned in force again Saturday to demand a complete change of regime.
The president appeared to have been preparing his son Gamal to succeed him, possibly as soon as presidential elections planned for later this year. However, there was significant public opposition to the hereditary succession.
The appointment of Suleiman, 74, answers one of the most intriguing and enduring political questions in Egypt: Who will succeed 82-year-old Mubarak?
Another question is whether his appointment will calm Egypt's seething cities.
Mubarak appointed Suleiman shortly after the U.S. said he needed to take concrete action to achieve "real reform." Suleiman is well known and respected by American officials and has traveled to Washington many times.
Before word that Mubarak had picked his first vice president, State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley said the U.S. wanted to see Mubarak fulfill his pledges of reform.
"The Egyptian government can't reshuffle the deck and then stand pat," Crowley said on his Twitter account. "President Mubarak's words pledging reform must be followed by action."
As the army presence expanded in Cairo Saturday, police largely disappeared from the streets — possibly because their presence seemed only to fuel protesters' anger. Egyptian police are hated for their brutality.
On Friday, 17 police stations throughout Cairo were torched, with protesters stealing firearms and ammunition and freeing some jailed suspects. They also burned dozens of police trucks in Cairo, Alexandria and Suez. On Saturday, protesters besieged a police station in the Giza neighborhood of Cairo, looted and pulled down Egyptian flags, then burned the building to the ground.
There were no clashes reported between protesters and the military at all, and many in the crowds showered soldiers with affection.
One army captain joined the demonstrators in Tahrir Square, who hoisted him on their shoulders while chanting slogans against Mubarak. The officer ripped apart a picture of the president.
"We don't want him! We will go after him!" demonstrators shouted. They decried looting and sabotage, saying: "Those who love Egypt should not sabotage Egypt!"
Some 200 inmates escaped a jail on the outskirts of the city, starting a fire first to cover their breakout. Eight inmates were killed during the escape.
On Saturday, feelings of joy over the sustained protest mingled with frustration over the looting and Mubarak's refusal to step down.
"To hell with Mubarak; We don't serve individuals. We serve this country that we love, just like you," yelled another soldier to protesters from atop a tank scrawled with graffiti that said: "Down with Mubarak!"
Like Mubarak, Suleiman has a military background. The powerful military has provided Egypt with its four presidents since the monarchy was toppled nearly 60 years ago. He has been in charge of some of Egypt's most sensitive foreign policy issues, including the Palestinian-Israeli peace process.
Suleiman, additionally, is widely seen as a central regime figure, a position that protesters were likely to view with suspicion.
Mubarak also named his new prime minister Ahmed Shafiq, the outgoing civil aviation minister and fellow former air force officer.
Both appointments perpetuate the military's overriding role in Egyptian politics.
Suleiman's frequent trips to Israel could be held against him by a population that continues to view the Jewish state as a sworn enemy more than 30 years after the two neighbors signed a peace treaty.
With the two occupying the country's most important jobs after the president from the military, Gamal, a banker-turned-politician, appears out of the running for his father's job.
A leaked U.S. diplomatic memo said Gamal and his clique of ruling party stalwarts and businessmen were gaining confidence in 2007 about controlling power in Egypt and that they believed that Mubarak would eventually dump Suleiman, who was seen as a threat by Gamal and his coterie of aides.
Gamal launched his political career within the ranks of the ruling National Democratic Party, climbed over the past 10 years to become its de facto leader, dictating economic policies and bolstering his own political standing.
Gamal's close aide and confidant, steel tycoon Ahmed Ezz, resigned from the party on Saturday, according to state television. Gamal and Ezz are suspected of orchestrating the rigging of the last parliamentary election in November, making sure the ruling party won all but a small fraction of the chamber's 518 seats.
"There is nothing short of Mubarak leaving power that will satisfy the people," Mohamed ElBaradei, the country's leading pro-reform activist told The Associated Press on Saturday. "I think what Mubarak said yesterday was an insult to the intelligence of the Egyptian people."
Buildings, statues and even armored security vehicles were covered in anti-Mubarak graffiti, including the words "Mubarak must fall," which by morning had been written over to say "Mubarak fell."
The military extended the hours of the night curfew imposed Friday in the three major cities where the worst violence has been seen — Cairo, Alexandria and Suez. State television said it would begin at 4 p.m. and last until 8 a.m., longer than the 6 p.m. to 7 a.m. ban Friday night that appeared to not have been enforced.
The Internet appeared blocked for a second day to hamper protesters who use social networking sites to organize. And after cell phone service was cut for a day Friday, two of the country's major providers were up and running Saturday.
In the capital on Friday night, hundreds of young men carted away televisions, fans and stereo equipment looted from the ruling National Democratic Party, near the Egyptian Museum.
Others around the city looted banks, smashed cars, tore down street signs and pelted armored riot police vehicles with paving stones torn from roadways.
Banks and the stock market will be closed on Sunday, the first day of the week, because of the turmoil.
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With protests raging, Egypt's president named his intelligence chief as his first-ever vice president on Saturday, setting the stage for a successor as chaos engulfed the capital. Soldiers stood by — a few even joining the demonstrators — and the death toll from five days of anti-government fury rose sharply to 74.
Saturday's fast-moving developments across the north African nation marked a sharp turning point in President Hosni Mubarak's three-decade rule of Egypt.
Residents and shopkeepers in affluent neighborhoods boarded up their houses and stores against looters, who roamed the streets with knives and sticks, stealing what they could and destroying cars, windows and street signs. Gunfire rang out in some neighborhoods.
Tanks and armored personnel carriers fanned out across the city of 18 million, guarding key government buildings, and major tourist and archaeological sites. Among those singled out for special protection was the Egyptian Museum, home to some of the country's most treasured antiquities, and the Cabinet building. The military closed the pyramids on the outskirts of Cairo — Egypt's premier tourist site.
But soldiers made no moves against protesters, even after a curfew came and went and the crowds swelled in the streets, demanding an end to Mubarak's rule and no handoff to the son he had been grooming to succeed him.
"This is the revolution of people of all walks of life," read black graffiti scrolled on one army tank in Tahrir Square. "Mubarak, take your son and leave," it said.
Thousands of protesters defied the curfew for the second night, standing their ground in the main Tahrir Square in a resounding rejection of Mubarak's attempt to hang onto power with promises of reform and a new government.
Police protecting the Interior Ministry near the site opened fire at a funeral procession for a dead protester, possibly because it came too close to the force. Clashes broke out and at least two people were killed.
A 43-year-old teacher, Rafaat Mubarak, said the appointment of the president's intelligence chief and longtime confidant, Omar Suleiman, as vice president did not satisfy the protesters.
"This is all nonsense. They will not fool us anymore. We want the head of the snake," he said in the Mediterranean port city of Alexandria. "If he is appointed by Mubarak, then he is just one more member of the gang. We are not speaking about a branch in a tree, we are talking about the roots."
The crackdown on protesters has drawn harsh criticism from the Obama administration and even a threat Friday to reduce a $1.5 billion foreign aid program if Washington's most important Arab ally escalates the use of force.
Thousands of passengers were stranded at Cairo's airport as flights were canceled or delayed, leaving them unable to leave because of a government-imposed curfew. Several Arab nations, meanwhile, moved to evacuate their citizens.
The cancelations of flights and the arrival of several largely empty aircraft appeared to herald an ominous erosion of key tourism revenue.
The protesters united in one overarching demand — Mubarak and his family must go. The movement is a culmination of years of simmering frustration over a government they see as corrupt, heavy-handed and neglectful of poverty.
Egyptians were emboldened by the uprising in Tunisia — another North African Arab nation, and further buoyed by their success in defying the ban on gatherings.
At the end of a long day of rioting and mass demonstrations Friday, Mubarak fired his Cabinet and promised reforms. But the demonstrators returned in force again Saturday to demand a complete change of regime.
The president appeared to have been preparing his son Gamal to succeed him, possibly as soon as presidential elections planned for later this year. However, there was significant public opposition to the hereditary succession.
The appointment of Suleiman, 74, answers one of the most intriguing and enduring political questions in Egypt: Who will succeed 82-year-old Mubarak?
Another question is whether his appointment will calm Egypt's seething cities.
Mubarak appointed Suleiman shortly after the U.S. said he needed to take concrete action to achieve "real reform." Suleiman is well known and respected by American officials and has traveled to Washington many times.
Before word that Mubarak had picked his first vice president, State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley said the U.S. wanted to see Mubarak fulfill his pledges of reform.
"The Egyptian government can't reshuffle the deck and then stand pat," Crowley said on his Twitter account. "President Mubarak's words pledging reform must be followed by action."
As the army presence expanded in Cairo Saturday, police largely disappeared from the streets — possibly because their presence seemed only to fuel protesters' anger. Egyptian police are hated for their brutality.
On Friday, 17 police stations throughout Cairo were torched, with protesters stealing firearms and ammunition and freeing some jailed suspects. They also burned dozens of police trucks in Cairo, Alexandria and Suez. On Saturday, protesters besieged a police station in the Giza neighborhood of Cairo, looted and pulled down Egyptian flags, then burned the building to the ground.
There were no clashes reported between protesters and the military at all, and many in the crowds showered soldiers with affection.
One army captain joined the demonstrators in Tahrir Square, who hoisted him on their shoulders while chanting slogans against Mubarak. The officer ripped apart a picture of the president.
"We don't want him! We will go after him!" demonstrators shouted. They decried looting and sabotage, saying: "Those who love Egypt should not sabotage Egypt!"
Some 200 inmates escaped a jail on the outskirts of the city, starting a fire first to cover their breakout. Eight inmates were killed during the escape.
On Saturday, feelings of joy over the sustained protest mingled with frustration over the looting and Mubarak's refusal to step down.
"To hell with Mubarak; We don't serve individuals. We serve this country that we love, just like you," yelled another soldier to protesters from atop a tank scrawled with graffiti that said: "Down with Mubarak!"
Like Mubarak, Suleiman has a military background. The powerful military has provided Egypt with its four presidents since the monarchy was toppled nearly 60 years ago. He has been in charge of some of Egypt's most sensitive foreign policy issues, including the Palestinian-Israeli peace process.
Suleiman, additionally, is widely seen as a central regime figure, a position that protesters were likely to view with suspicion.
Mubarak also named his new prime minister Ahmed Shafiq, the outgoing civil aviation minister and fellow former air force officer.
Both appointments perpetuate the military's overriding role in Egyptian politics.
Suleiman's frequent trips to Israel could be held against him by a population that continues to view the Jewish state as a sworn enemy more than 30 years after the two neighbors signed a peace treaty.
With the two occupying the country's most important jobs after the president from the military, Gamal, a banker-turned-politician, appears out of the running for his father's job.
A leaked U.S. diplomatic memo said Gamal and his clique of ruling party stalwarts and businessmen were gaining confidence in 2007 about controlling power in Egypt and that they believed that Mubarak would eventually dump Suleiman, who was seen as a threat by Gamal and his coterie of aides.
Gamal launched his political career within the ranks of the ruling National Democratic Party, climbed over the past 10 years to become its de facto leader, dictating economic policies and bolstering his own political standing.
Gamal's close aide and confidant, steel tycoon Ahmed Ezz, resigned from the party on Saturday, according to state television. Gamal and Ezz are suspected of orchestrating the rigging of the last parliamentary election in November, making sure the ruling party won all but a small fraction of the chamber's 518 seats.
"There is nothing short of Mubarak leaving power that will satisfy the people," Mohamed ElBaradei, the country's leading pro-reform activist told The Associated Press on Saturday. "I think what Mubarak said yesterday was an insult to the intelligence of the Egyptian people."
Buildings, statues and even armored security vehicles were covered in anti-Mubarak graffiti, including the words "Mubarak must fall," which by morning had been written over to say "Mubarak fell."
The military extended the hours of the night curfew imposed Friday in the three major cities where the worst violence has been seen — Cairo, Alexandria and Suez. State television said it would begin at 4 p.m. and last until 8 a.m., longer than the 6 p.m. to 7 a.m. ban Friday night that appeared to not have been enforced.
The Internet appeared blocked for a second day to hamper protesters who use social networking sites to organize. And after cell phone service was cut for a day Friday, two of the country's major providers were up and running Saturday.
In the capital on Friday night, hundreds of young men carted away televisions, fans and stereo equipment looted from the ruling National Democratic Party, near the Egyptian Museum.
Others around the city looted banks, smashed cars, tore down street signs and pelted armored riot police vehicles with paving stones torn from roadways.
Banks and the stock market will be closed on Sunday, the first day of the week, because of the turmoil.
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EMILY POST SAYS: "GOOD MANNERS IS A GOOD THING!"
Take a "que" from the "Diva" herself "Emily Post." The creator of all things manners and then some.
When it comes to laying down the law on what good manners are about; Emily Post is the source that comes to mind. Her book "Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home" is a source for all who want know how to be polite and what to do in public. It's a book all parents and "men" should keep as a staple on their bookshelves.
Emily was the philosopher when it came to offering ways to live; saying "manners are made up of trivialities of deportment which can be easily learned if one does not happen to know them; manner is personality-the outward manifestation of one's innate character and attitude toward life."
Excerpt: A FEW MAXIMS FOR THOSE WHO TALK TO MUCH-AND EASILY!
*The faults of commission are far more serious than those of omisson; regrets are seldom for what you left unsaid.
The chatterer reveals every corner of his shallow mind; one who keeps silent cannot have his depth plumbed.
Don't pretend to know more than you do. To say you have read a book and then seemingly to understand nothing of what you have read, proves you half-wit. Only the very small mind hesitates to say "I don't know."
Above all, stop and think about what you are saying! This is really the first, last and only rule. If you "stop" you can't chatter or expound or flounder ceaselessly, and if you think, you will find a topic and a manner of presenting your topic so that your neighbor will be interested rather than long-suffering.
Remember also that the sympathetic (not apathetic) listener is the delight of delights. The person who looks glad to see you, who is seemingly eager for your news, or enthralled in your conversation; who looks at you with a kindling of the face, and gives you spontaneous and undivided attention, is the one to whom the palm for the art of conversation would undoubtedly be awarded.*
For all that want to refine themselves or start your children off on the right foot read "Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home" By Emily Post.
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*Join The Conversation*
When it comes to laying down the law on what good manners are about; Emily Post is the source that comes to mind. Her book "Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home" is a source for all who want know how to be polite and what to do in public. It's a book all parents and "men" should keep as a staple on their bookshelves.
Emily was the philosopher when it came to offering ways to live; saying "manners are made up of trivialities of deportment which can be easily learned if one does not happen to know them; manner is personality-the outward manifestation of one's innate character and attitude toward life."
Excerpt: A FEW MAXIMS FOR THOSE WHO TALK TO MUCH-AND EASILY!
*The faults of commission are far more serious than those of omisson; regrets are seldom for what you left unsaid.
The chatterer reveals every corner of his shallow mind; one who keeps silent cannot have his depth plumbed.
Don't pretend to know more than you do. To say you have read a book and then seemingly to understand nothing of what you have read, proves you half-wit. Only the very small mind hesitates to say "I don't know."
Above all, stop and think about what you are saying! This is really the first, last and only rule. If you "stop" you can't chatter or expound or flounder ceaselessly, and if you think, you will find a topic and a manner of presenting your topic so that your neighbor will be interested rather than long-suffering.
Remember also that the sympathetic (not apathetic) listener is the delight of delights. The person who looks glad to see you, who is seemingly eager for your news, or enthralled in your conversation; who looks at you with a kindling of the face, and gives you spontaneous and undivided attention, is the one to whom the palm for the art of conversation would undoubtedly be awarded.*
For all that want to refine themselves or start your children off on the right foot read "Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home" By Emily Post.
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Toni Braxton Facing Foreclosure Again!
Once again, Grammy-winning and financially-challenged singer Toni Braxton is facing foreclosure. The Wall Street Journal reports that the holder of Braxton's mortgage debt won bankruptcy court approval to start proceedings against her home in Duluth, Georgia. Braxton doesn't own the property, a trust does. She owes $1.5 million on her mortgage, while the property itself been appraised at $1.2 million. She took out the mortgage in 2004 with Wells Fargo Bank and the lender later transferred its interest in the debt to a trust set up to administer a pool of mortgages for investors in those securities.According to the WSJ, Braxton earlier told the bankruptcy court she had wanted to stay in the home.
Braxton, filed for Chapter 7 liquidation last fall. She listed debts of $10 million and $50 million with assets in the $1 million to $10 million range. Creditors include Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, the Internal Revenue Service and Neiman Marcus. She had previously filed bankruptcy in 1998. The IRS had also filed a lien against her for $396,000.
Braxton also had a home in Henderson, Nevada that she bought in 2007 for $2.6 million. The home was listed as a foreclosure on Realtor.com for $1.15 million and sold on September 17 for $1.060 million. Braxton and her four sisters, all aspiring singers, have a new reality television show "Braxton Family Values" which will run on the WE Network this April. Earlier this month it was also reported that she is mulling over posing for Playboy.
*WOW! You would of thought Toni Braxton learned her lesson after the conversation she had with Oprah years ago. I guess that went in one ear and out the other. I hope she get's it together.*
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Braxton, filed for Chapter 7 liquidation last fall. She listed debts of $10 million and $50 million with assets in the $1 million to $10 million range. Creditors include Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, the Internal Revenue Service and Neiman Marcus. She had previously filed bankruptcy in 1998. The IRS had also filed a lien against her for $396,000.
Braxton also had a home in Henderson, Nevada that she bought in 2007 for $2.6 million. The home was listed as a foreclosure on Realtor.com for $1.15 million and sold on September 17 for $1.060 million. Braxton and her four sisters, all aspiring singers, have a new reality television show "Braxton Family Values" which will run on the WE Network this April. Earlier this month it was also reported that she is mulling over posing for Playboy.
*WOW! You would of thought Toni Braxton learned her lesson after the conversation she had with Oprah years ago. I guess that went in one ear and out the other. I hope she get's it together.*
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Industry debuts new U.S. food labels, critics pan!
U.S. grocers joined with food and drink makers to unveil a new system on Monday for putting nutritional information on packages ahead of plans from U.S. regulators, who have called for clear and accurate labels to help fight obesity.
Critics were quick to question the front-of-package labeling move by industry, saying it appeared to be an attempt to circumvent federal regulators and to distract consumers from the unhealthy ingredients in some packaged foods.
The new program from the Food Marketing Institute (FMI) and the Grocery Manufacturers Association (GMA) is called "Nutrition Keys" and will list calories, saturated fat, sodium and total sugars on the front of packages.
The Nutrition Keys icon on some products also will display information about "nutrients to encourage" -- such as potassium, fiber, vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin D, calcium, iron and also protein, the industry groups said.
Nutrition Keys icons could begin appearing on packages as early as 2011, they said.
Backers said the program was developed in response to a request from First Lady Michelle Obama, who has taken on childhood obesity as her signature issue.
"We share First Lady Michelle Obama's goal of solving childhood obesity within a generation," said Pamela Bailey, president and chief executive of the GMA.
The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says two-thirds of American adults and 15 percent of children are overweight or obese. In some states, the childhood obesity rate is above 30 percent.
Expanding waistbands are a growing problem for U.S. policymakers. Children today are likely to have a shorter life span than their parents -- which will affect their ability to work and pay taxes, while threatening to drive up health care costs. Military recruitment also has been hampered because many young people are too overweight and out of shape to serve.
Critics, who have tangled with food makers before, were skeptical about the new labeling plan, in part because it fails to differentiate between good and bad nutrients.
"The industry's unveiling today of its front-of-package labeling system is troubling and confirms that this effort should not circumvent or influence FDA's effort to develop strong guidelines," Democratic Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro said in a statement.
DeLauro, the former chair of a subcommittee that sets FDA funding, was a fierce critic of "Smart Choices" a controversial industry-led nutrition labeling program.
In October 2009, FDA warned companies that the agency was investigating if nutrition claims on the front of packages were misleading and called out the "Smart Choices" labels. Officials said they were developing a proposal for those labels and exploring if consumers would benefit from a single symbol to give a quick, accurate idea of nutritional content.
Food makers like Kellogg Co, which sells Froot Loops and Frosted Flakes breakfast cereals, scrapped "Smart Choices" labeling shortly after the FDA criticism.
The Institute of Medicine and the FDA have been working to develop reports and potential guidelines for what type of nutrition information should be permitted and required on the front of food packages, said Kelly Brownell, Director of the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University.
"There is much at stake," said Brownell. "Millions of people see thousands of products each day and deserve a labeling system that helps them understand nutrition information rather than misleads them."
Michael Jacobson, executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, a nonprofit consumer group, said: "It's unfortunate the industry wouldn't adopt a more effective system or simply wait until the (FDA) developed a system that would be as useful to consumers as possible."
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Critics were quick to question the front-of-package labeling move by industry, saying it appeared to be an attempt to circumvent federal regulators and to distract consumers from the unhealthy ingredients in some packaged foods.
The new program from the Food Marketing Institute (FMI) and the Grocery Manufacturers Association (GMA) is called "Nutrition Keys" and will list calories, saturated fat, sodium and total sugars on the front of packages.
The Nutrition Keys icon on some products also will display information about "nutrients to encourage" -- such as potassium, fiber, vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin D, calcium, iron and also protein, the industry groups said.
Nutrition Keys icons could begin appearing on packages as early as 2011, they said.
Backers said the program was developed in response to a request from First Lady Michelle Obama, who has taken on childhood obesity as her signature issue.
"We share First Lady Michelle Obama's goal of solving childhood obesity within a generation," said Pamela Bailey, president and chief executive of the GMA.
The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says two-thirds of American adults and 15 percent of children are overweight or obese. In some states, the childhood obesity rate is above 30 percent.
Expanding waistbands are a growing problem for U.S. policymakers. Children today are likely to have a shorter life span than their parents -- which will affect their ability to work and pay taxes, while threatening to drive up health care costs. Military recruitment also has been hampered because many young people are too overweight and out of shape to serve.
Critics, who have tangled with food makers before, were skeptical about the new labeling plan, in part because it fails to differentiate between good and bad nutrients.
"The industry's unveiling today of its front-of-package labeling system is troubling and confirms that this effort should not circumvent or influence FDA's effort to develop strong guidelines," Democratic Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro said in a statement.
DeLauro, the former chair of a subcommittee that sets FDA funding, was a fierce critic of "Smart Choices" a controversial industry-led nutrition labeling program.
In October 2009, FDA warned companies that the agency was investigating if nutrition claims on the front of packages were misleading and called out the "Smart Choices" labels. Officials said they were developing a proposal for those labels and exploring if consumers would benefit from a single symbol to give a quick, accurate idea of nutritional content.
Food makers like Kellogg Co, which sells Froot Loops and Frosted Flakes breakfast cereals, scrapped "Smart Choices" labeling shortly after the FDA criticism.
The Institute of Medicine and the FDA have been working to develop reports and potential guidelines for what type of nutrition information should be permitted and required on the front of food packages, said Kelly Brownell, Director of the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University.
"There is much at stake," said Brownell. "Millions of people see thousands of products each day and deserve a labeling system that helps them understand nutrition information rather than misleads them."
Michael Jacobson, executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, a nonprofit consumer group, said: "It's unfortunate the industry wouldn't adopt a more effective system or simply wait until the (FDA) developed a system that would be as useful to consumers as possible."
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Foods that Promote Happiness!
If you’re feeling as blue as the skies above, you will be happy to know that a few spoonfuls of the right foods may turn that frown upside down! Whole foods contain vital nutrients that provide both physical and psychological benefits. Read on to discover which foods contain those mood-boosters to help you smile your way to longevity.
Fun with Folate
Eat folate-rich foods: Leafy greens like kale, broccoli, spinach, asparagus, turnip greens, bok choy, legumes, sunflower seeds, oranges, melons, beets, and fortified whole grains
Why? Folate, also know as folic acid, is a water-soluble vitamin that is necessary for cell division, DNA synthesis, and healthy blood cell production. Research at the University of York and Hull York Medical School has found a link between depression and low levels of folate. The recommended daily allowance (RDA) for men and women is 400 micrograms and 600 micrograms for pregnant women. To keep you smiling, increase your intake of folate-rich foods. A cup of cooked lentils provides 90% of the RDA of folic acid. Plus, the fiber and protein will satisfy you longer, stabilize blood sugar, and also promote a better mood. Additional bonuses: Folate can also decrease homocysteine, an amino acid that is linked to heart disease. Low levels of folate can cause anemia, while pregnant women must increase their folate levels to prevent fetal neural tube deficiencies.
Boost Your B6
Eat B6 foods: bananas, chicken breast, garlic, Brussels sprouts, collard greens, sunflower seeds, broccoli, red bell peppers, watermelon, avocados, and potatoes
Why? Vitamin B6 plays a role in red blood cell metabolism, protein metabolism, and synthesis of neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine. It also helps maintain healthy blood sugar levels, and increases the amount of oxygen carried to your tissues. Low levels can lead to an increase of homocysteine, anemia, headaches, and depression. The RDA for adults from age 19 to 50 is 1.3 mg/day and approximately 1.6 mg for individuals over 50. The next time you’re feeling down, grab a banana and munch your blues away!
Go Fish!
Eat omega-3-rich foods: fish like salmon, sardines, mackerel, anchovies, and herring, flaxseeds, walnuts, and algae
Why? DHA omega-3 essential fatty acid maintains healthy brain function and is vital for fetal brain and eye development. Current research also demonstrates the association between intake of omega-3 fatty acids and depression. A meta-analysis study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that depression was significantly improved in patients with unipolar and bipolar disorders after taking three daily fish capsules for eight weeks. Eat the oily fish listed above -- a 3-ounce serving of salmon contains between 1.1 - 1.9 grams of omega-3 fatty acids. Supplementing with high quality fish oil capsules may be an alternative if you don’t consume fish on a regular basis. Vegetarian sources of omega-3 can be found in flaxseeds, walnuts, and algae. Toss a tablespoon of sunflower seeds or walnuts into a creamy cup of unsweetened low-fat yogurt for a mega mood boost!
Good Carbs, Bad Carbs
Eat good carbs: whole grains, fruits, vegetables
Why? Not all carbohydrates are created equal. Whole grains, fruits, and veggies supply us with prolonged energy, fiber, and multiple nutrients that our bodies need for optimal health. Good quality carbohydrates can also trigger serotonin synthesis. Recognized as the “happy hormone,” serotonin is an important neurotransmitter that affects our mood and sleep. The next time you feel blue, instead of reaching for that bag of chips or sugary cookies, opt for unrefined, unprocessed carbohydrates that will provide you with sustained energy and an improved mood. Toss that muffin and enjoy a whole grain cracker with a tablespoon of natural nut butter for a delicious and uplifting snack!
May you live long, live strong, and live happy!
—Dr. Mao
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Fun with Folate
Eat folate-rich foods: Leafy greens like kale, broccoli, spinach, asparagus, turnip greens, bok choy, legumes, sunflower seeds, oranges, melons, beets, and fortified whole grains
Why? Folate, also know as folic acid, is a water-soluble vitamin that is necessary for cell division, DNA synthesis, and healthy blood cell production. Research at the University of York and Hull York Medical School has found a link between depression and low levels of folate. The recommended daily allowance (RDA) for men and women is 400 micrograms and 600 micrograms for pregnant women. To keep you smiling, increase your intake of folate-rich foods. A cup of cooked lentils provides 90% of the RDA of folic acid. Plus, the fiber and protein will satisfy you longer, stabilize blood sugar, and also promote a better mood. Additional bonuses: Folate can also decrease homocysteine, an amino acid that is linked to heart disease. Low levels of folate can cause anemia, while pregnant women must increase their folate levels to prevent fetal neural tube deficiencies.
Boost Your B6
Eat B6 foods: bananas, chicken breast, garlic, Brussels sprouts, collard greens, sunflower seeds, broccoli, red bell peppers, watermelon, avocados, and potatoes
Why? Vitamin B6 plays a role in red blood cell metabolism, protein metabolism, and synthesis of neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine. It also helps maintain healthy blood sugar levels, and increases the amount of oxygen carried to your tissues. Low levels can lead to an increase of homocysteine, anemia, headaches, and depression. The RDA for adults from age 19 to 50 is 1.3 mg/day and approximately 1.6 mg for individuals over 50. The next time you’re feeling down, grab a banana and munch your blues away!
Go Fish!
Eat omega-3-rich foods: fish like salmon, sardines, mackerel, anchovies, and herring, flaxseeds, walnuts, and algae
Why? DHA omega-3 essential fatty acid maintains healthy brain function and is vital for fetal brain and eye development. Current research also demonstrates the association between intake of omega-3 fatty acids and depression. A meta-analysis study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that depression was significantly improved in patients with unipolar and bipolar disorders after taking three daily fish capsules for eight weeks. Eat the oily fish listed above -- a 3-ounce serving of salmon contains between 1.1 - 1.9 grams of omega-3 fatty acids. Supplementing with high quality fish oil capsules may be an alternative if you don’t consume fish on a regular basis. Vegetarian sources of omega-3 can be found in flaxseeds, walnuts, and algae. Toss a tablespoon of sunflower seeds or walnuts into a creamy cup of unsweetened low-fat yogurt for a mega mood boost!
Good Carbs, Bad Carbs
Eat good carbs: whole grains, fruits, vegetables
Why? Not all carbohydrates are created equal. Whole grains, fruits, and veggies supply us with prolonged energy, fiber, and multiple nutrients that our bodies need for optimal health. Good quality carbohydrates can also trigger serotonin synthesis. Recognized as the “happy hormone,” serotonin is an important neurotransmitter that affects our mood and sleep. The next time you feel blue, instead of reaching for that bag of chips or sugary cookies, opt for unrefined, unprocessed carbohydrates that will provide you with sustained energy and an improved mood. Toss that muffin and enjoy a whole grain cracker with a tablespoon of natural nut butter for a delicious and uplifting snack!
May you live long, live strong, and live happy!
—Dr. Mao
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Friday, January 28, 2011
Literary Diva Presents: "INTERNATIONAL DIVA DAY!"
This is a day for all the "Diva's" or for the the "Diva's" in your life. International Diva Day will be celebrated on Feb. 20th of every year. Starting this Feb 20th 2011, get your "Diva" celebration on and solidify your "Diva" status on the day made for you. So mark your calenders for "INTERNATIONAL DIVA DAY."
This is day was created by "Literary Diva of Blogtalk Radio." By all standards she is a Diva that wants all women to feel like they to are true "Diva's."
Get your official "International Diva Day" tee@ www.cafepress.com/DivasHouse today!
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